Have you ever prayed before about a decision in your life and you got absolutely no answer? You might have been praying for days, weeks, months, or even years about something, but still nothing. What is going on? When we pray about a decision in our life, there isn’t anything wrong with it; in fact, it is very good to pray and check with God about decisions in our life because He knows things we don’t. The issue is that we are always looking for a definitive answer on something, wanting Him to choose for us rather than Him letting us choose. The real thing you should be looking for when praying about a decision is whether you have peace on it or not. Regarding peace, there isn’t a middle ground because you will either have peace on it or not. When you don’t have peace on something, there will be a check in your heart that won’t leave you be. That is God warning you and giving you a heads-up about something you don’t know.
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7.
These two verses tell us everything. They don’t say God will give you a definitive yes or no answer on everything; it says that the peace of God will guard your hearts and minds through Christ. That means when you pray about something and you don’t have a definitive answer, but you don’t have a check that causes you no peace, then there isn’t a right or wrong choice. It is just your preference or what seems good to you. Then that peace of God will guard you in the decisions you make because you chose right. When God lets you choose, the only wrong answer is not choosing at all, being in hesitation. You will cause yourself more anxiety, stress, worry, and all sorts of problems by not deciding because you want God to choose every little decision in your life. Well, if that were the case, then what is the point of free will, intentionality, choice, preferences, interest, etc.? Is not the life you live your life too? Honor God with your life by doing things honorable towards Him, but it is your life, and you have your likes and dislikes, interests and disinterests. God knows that and made you that way because it makes you who you are and not just another copy of a person. God loves you so much that He made you different and unique. That is why there isn’t an exact same person. That is why we have choice, and that is why God lets us choose things for ourselves because He wants us to live life too; just in a way that honors Him. Look at Paul! When Paul was on the missionary journeys, he went to the places that seemed best to him. The only times he didn’t choose something were when he didn’t have peace about going somewhere because God knew something Paul didn’t. Or when God needed to redirect him somewhere for a reason unknown to Paul.
“Now when they had gone through Phrygia and the region of Galatia, they were forbidden by the Holy Spirit to preach the word in Asia. After they had come to Mysia, they tried to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit did not permit them. So passing by Mysia, they came down to Troas.” – Acts 16:6-8.
Notice here, the Holy Spirit redirected them away from areas. Paul went to places just to preach the Word and went to places that seemed best. This also doesn’t mean God will just not tell people where to go or nudge them at times to do something, because God will do that at times. Generally speaking, though, God lets us decide a lot of things in our lives but will nudge us to do or not to do things at times, but typically those are things that aren’t our choice. The only choice in those matters is whether we obey or not. We have this concept that we think we have to ask God what we should do about every little thing in life. Well, the truth is, God isn’t in control; He is in charge. If God were in control, then the whole idea of free will, choices, intentionality, etc. would all be void. If your workplace had a dress code of a polo shirt with pants, then deciding between a blue or red polo doesn’t have a right or wrong decision. There isn’t a “better” decision because both work. Now if one of those weren’t a polo, then that is where the issue is, and that will be brought up. Look at what God gave Adam before the fall!
“Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” – Genesis 1:26.
God gave Adam dominion over the earth!!! It was all up to Adam what to decide, even up to the naming of animals. God wasn’t in control, but He was in charge. God was in charge and told Adam he had dominion but commanded Adam not to eat from the tree. That was it. If God was in control, then Adam would never have any choices to make and wouldn’t have dominion. I work in retail as a lead over a department. My boss isn’t in control of everything that happens in our store or how it all looks, but she is in charge of making sure those things are done well. When I was still new, I would always ask my store manager if this was fine or if this little detail was okay, or what I should do about this other thing. Then one day she told me that it is my department and my choice, so I can figure it out. Therefore, because it is my choice and I don’t have to ask my boss about every little detail on how it should be, I could rearrange my shelves many ways, but I do what seems best to me. My boss will occasionally overlook it and check it all, but she will only point out the little details only when they need fixing, not because they aren’t how she wants it. Another time, my boss told me to shrink my department a certain amount to make space for our other departments. My responsibility as a lead is to figure it out and brainstorm a layout for how I want it. Those are my decisions and choices. I don’t have to ask for permission on every little detail. When I choose my layout, I have my manager review it. My manager isn’t going to give me a specific list of how she wants it to look. That is my decision. She will only point out the little details if they are issues, not because it isn’t how she wants it. That principle applies to our prayers to God about decisions. If we pray about a decision and we get no answer, then that is our answer because there isn’t a right or wrong answer; just whatever seems best to us. Now, if there was an issue, God will point that out so it can be resolved. It really is simpler than we have made it to be. God gave us the ability to decide and make choices because He values intentionality. Don’t try to be a perfectionist, making every right decision because many decisions don’t have a right or wrong; they are what you prefer. All you need to do is go with your peace. Peace is our safety net when making decisions. But don’t let your peace be tainted and masked with fear, worry, stress, malicious desires, and ill passions. Peace is calm and content even in the midst of a storm. It surpasses all understanding. Peace is not your flesh trying to justify something you know deep down is wrong. Let your peace be pure through a pure heart and pure motives. It is that simple. Now regarding confirmation, confirmation has also been widely taken out of its place and used as an excuse to not make a choice when we have a decision. Confirmation isn’t asking God to confirm whether you should or shouldn’t do something. Asking for confirmation is asking God to confirm that you heard Him correctly. For example, you believe the Lord told you to move to a new country. Confirmation isn’t deciding should I stay here or move to a different country. Confirmation is asking God to confirm that you heard correctly in that you SHOULD move to a new country. It is confirming what you already heard, not what decision you should make. If you make a purchase online, it asks you to confirm that you want to purchase it after you already clicked purchase once. Don’t use confirmation as an excuse to not make a decision. Confirmation is only to verify that you heard correctly. For example, Peter and Cornelius. In Acts 10, Peter had a vision of animals that were considered unclean according to the Law, and in the vision, Peter was told to “kill and eat.” What this meant was that even Christ was also for the Gentiles as much as the Jews and that there is no partiality in God. Peter wasn’t sure what to do with this after the vision and was pondering it. Confirmation came to Peter on what he had already heard from the Lord. This confirmation was when Peter met Cornelius because Cornelius was told to find Peter and that Cornelius’s prayers had been heard. This confirmed for Peter that even the Gentiles could receive Christ.
“Then Peter opened his mouth and said: “In truth I perceive that God shows no partiality. But in every nation whoever fears Him and works righteousness is accepted by Him.” – Acts 10:34-35.
That is how confirmation really works; not as an excuse to not make a decision when God is letting you choose.
So overall, pray about decisions that need prayer before you decide, and if you don’t get an answer, go with wherever your peace is because God is letting you choose. The peace of God will protect you and is your safety net in your decisions. God will warn you and let you know if you are making a poor choice. He always has your back. In those moments where there is no right or wrong choice, go down the path that seems best, for even the rivers that all lead to the ocean have branches, but every branch of the river is lush and thriving around it.